RadiateHope. : Gratitude.

It's officially over.

Last Thursday I watched as the artisans finished their last pieces of jewelry and handed them their pay for the very last time. I mean, my job isn't completely done: I have a couple fun parties planned for the artisans and all of the beads and supplies need to be inventoried and sent to Cambodia. But still, I will no longer spend an afternoon watching Nok's joyful smile as she quickly finishes her pieces, Nida sitting on the floor as she squints her eyes and tries to see the beads, and Bam waiting patiently (or maybe not so much) for Nida to finish.

The days of jewelry production are over.

And it's been difficult. It's been difficult to trust Gods plan for the future: for their lives and for mine. It's been difficult to understand my purpose completely in coming to Thailand. And it's been difficult to not want to pack and leave today, but at the same time difficult realizing that in a month I will have to pack up and leave my entire life from the past year.

Basically, my emotions feel like they are changing with each minute.

But I've been learning something in the past month or so (well, more like struggling to learn). I've been learning about gratitude.

I read the book One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp who intentionally kept a journal of the big and little, obvious and hidden, good and maybe not-so-good gifts that God gives her each day. I've done this exercise before, but at this time in my life, it seems to be perfect timing.

Because I've been realizing, or trying to realize, that in the midst of your and mine uncertain, frustrating, seemingly hopeless, and even mundane moments, we have a choice. We all have the choice...I have the choice right now to stay in these moments of sadness and doubt or to choose to be grateful. To have gratitude for the endless amounts of gifts I am given each day.

So today I choose to share with you some of my list. These are some of my gifts, the blessings God has extravagantly poured on me:

Open fields.