Faithful.

Today I was reading from Ragamuffin Gospel and I read this line: 

"What makes us authentic disciples is not visions, ecstasies, biblical mastery of chapter and verse, or spectacular success in the ministry, but a capacity for faithfulness."

I've been learning that lately. Friday morning our team here at PSM (the YWAM center) talked about vision.  We read Habakkuk 2:2-3 which talks about remembering the visions God has given us. God promises that the visions He has given us will come. But the verse also says, "Though it linger, wait for it. It will certainly come and will not delay." God has given us all specific talents, and He gives us visions of what to do with the gifts we have. 

But sometimes we have to wait. Sometimes we wonder if we are making a difference, if the little things we do every day really matter. Sometimes we wonder, I've been wondering, when the vision in my heart will happen, when it will come. I've wondered if the path I'm on will really lead me to the life I really want, I really  long for. 

And in those moments, we are called to be faithful. We are to be faithful in the small moments, the mundane tasks, the times when it doesn't make sense...I am called to be faithful. 

I wanted to share with you what a day looks like for me- what my daily schedule looks like. But the problem is that rarely do my days look alike. So...here are some pictures to give you a glimpse of the last few weeks of my life here in Thailand: 

Welcome to my life.

I have a confession: My life here really isn’t that glamorous or exciting. 

To be completely honest, I’m not even sure what to write here. I’ve been in Thailand two weeks now and so much has happened, so I want to share with you. But really...I don’t even know what to say because I’m just living daily everyday life. I have a job in Thailand. I live here. This morning I did laundry, cleaned my room, made breakfast, and then checked emails. This week for work, I've sorted beads...for hours. It might look pretty different and lack some of the comforts of America, but it’s my life. 

But I want to share with you, because I want you to do this with me. I want to be in this together, but sometimes I'm not sure that means. So I guess what I really want you to take away from what I share is: my stories don’t have to be that different from yours. Learn with me, because really we are all just living life together- even if its thousands of miles away.

I have a second confession: I really miss having a microwave.

I also miss having a shower with a full stream of water. Oh and I miss my car and eavesdropping on conversations (because I can understand them!)…well actually understanding the conversations that include me would be good too. I miss cheeseburgers. And I miss my bed a lot…and sinking into a nice comfortable mattress.

After one week in Thailand, I was struggling. I was frustrated at not understanding anyone, missing my comforts of home, realizing it will be so long until I’m with all the people I love in my home country, and feeling the darkness and ugliness of this city. And I wasn’t sure I even wanted to be here anymore.

And then God began to speak to me through His Word:

Keep your eyes on Jesus, who both began and finished this race we’re in. Study how He did it. Because He never lost sight of where He was headed, He could put up with anything along the way: cross, shame, whatever. In this all-out match against sin, others have suffered far worse than you, to say nothing of what Jesus went through- all that bloodshed! So don’t feel sorry for yourselves.

I don’t think Jesus was comfortable here on earth. I think He missed the feasts of delicious and rich Heavenly foods. I think He probably missed a world with no sickness, sunburn, and mosquito bites. He probably didn’t understand those around Him sometimes, using language that almost seemed foreign. And I’m pretty sure He missed His family and being in perfect relationship, with no hurt or embarrassment. And I think that in comparison to Him, I have no reason to complain. I think missing half & half in my coffee probably falls short on the list of possible complaints.

But here is the amazing part: my complaints might be insignificant and sometimes maybe I do need a better perspective. But Jesus still looks at me and says: Yes, (you have left it all- friends, family, cheeseburgers, nice showers, and even microwaves) and you won’t regret it. No one who has sacrificed home, spouse, brothers, sister, parents, children- whatever- will lose out. It will all come back multiplied many times over in your lifetime.

And that is what I want you all to learn alongside me. Jesus calls us to follow Him, which means taking up our cross and following Him. It means sacrifice- which looks different for us all, but is not any less required. But He loves us. So He doesn’t leave us empty-handed, but floods us with blessing after blessing.

Yes, things here may be difficult and sometimes I may wish I was somewhere “easier,” but here’s the thing: God hasn’t stopped passionately running after me with His blessings to remind me that I’m not doing this alone. He will not leave me, but will only provide for me over and over again.

I’m constantly reminded:  I live in a house with my own room, a kitchen, and wifi. I live with a spunky, passionate young woman, who loves to have fun and is continually patient with me as I ask a thousand questions in the grocery store or as I pronounce Thai words completely incorrectly (saying “dog” instead of “come”). I have three unique and precious artisans who are eager to work. I have an incredible support community in America that sends me emails and letters to remind me I’m not alone.

He loves me.

Really, that’s what I’m learning and I don’t need to be in Thailand to learn it. So soak it in and rest in His love with me. Let’s learn together that God hasn’t left us but He’s running after us. Because in a week or so, when I’m back to the frustrations, I will need learn it yet again. Take up the cross and allow Him to flood you with blessing after blessing.  

Click to walk through some of my life here with me.